Women’s pleasure is apparently TABOO!!!

Here is an ad that is making me really wonder WTF.

Not because of the ad’s creative, or the content, but because apparently, it’s too controversial – too provocative – to be shown on cable networks that target women.

Today. In 2011.

Take a look.

Now, this ad is not running yet. So how do I know the story?  A friend of mine that I’ve done social media work with before is currently working with the company that produced the TV ad above and contacted me because she was frustrated and fully in a WTF frame of mind.

She was pissed because it really is designed to HELP women. The ad directs you to their site, which is here, so you can learn more: http://www.intensitynow.com.

So, WTF? Apparently cable networks that are trying to reach the female audience are stuck back in the 1950s.

Back in the days, of I Love Lucy they had to show twin beds for married couples because it would be SCANDAL if they actually shared a bed. But didn’t Madonna and the DiVinyls actually start opening up acceptance of the idea that women can enjoy physical pleasure?

Apparently not on women’s cable networks. Like Style, Oprah Winfrey Network, and Women’s Entertainment. Because they think this ad is too risqué for air except during the after 1am slot.

Hmmm. No one had a problem with Enzyte commercials being run during primetime. And with that shit-eating grin on the guy’s face, and the wife just shrugging, it’s pretty clear to me that the product wasn’t targeting a woman’s pleasure. No. It was geared to please men.

Yet a product for women? OH DEAR GOD NO!!!! We can’t POSSIBLY run that.
We can run KY His and Hers commercials – because those show a man and a woman together. But a woman entire of herself and capable of enjoying herself without a man in her life. HEAVEN FORFEND! We can’t POSSIBLY have THAT!

So, to spite those networks (and out of my near-insatiable curiosity), I went out and got myself one.

Here. Let me tell you about it.

First off, let’s talk about the vibrator portion of the thing. See that little tri-pod-y thing sticking out? That’s for clitoral stimulation.

The bump below it on the shaft stimulates your G-spot.

Both those sections vibrate. There are 5 levels of vibration intensity. Honestly, I only took it up to 2, and it was Puh-lenty.

Now, in the next picture, you see the shaft? It expands. The technical term is “inflates,” since you use air to make it expand, but I don’t want you to think balloon. This thing is TOUGH.

Before I began using it, I pumped it up to a diameter that was… well, I can’t decide if it was comical or obscene. Let’s just say, there are no size limitations with this thing. It’s easy to get to just the right size. And you can tell what size you need it at when you’re using it, so no fears of overinflating. If you pump it too much, you simply press the button on the bottom and it quickly deflates for you.

Looking again at the second picture, you’ll see little metal sections on the top and bottom. Turns out these are electrodes.  Yes, electrodes. No. There’s no need to be scared. It doesn’t work like you’re thinking. This isn’t the feeling you get when you touch your tongue to a 9-volt. It feels completely… well, natural. You know how the light touch of fingertips across your back tingles and feels amazing? Like that, only not across your back. And you can change how strongly you feel it.

Once you’ve pumped it to fit, you turn on the electrodes – the instructions warn not to have that turned on until you have it inside you, and I wasn’t going to test out what happened if you didn’t follow the instructions. Sorry. You’ll have to test that yourself if you’re that curious. I’m not going there.

Once the electrodes are on, you get this tingly pulsing feeling. There isn’t any feeling of shock – you just feel your muscles working. They way they would if you were having an orgasm. Which, based on my experience, makes your brain feel the orgasm just the same.

At level 1, you probably won’t even feel it. It goes up to level 10.

4 was the best setting for me. I tried 5, but that was a little more power than I needed. But I haven’t had kids. 4 pretty much rocked my house.

Another cool thing is that the vibrator and muscle-workout parts have separate controls. You can use one, the other, or both. So, if you’re the type of woman (like my best friend) that literally doesn’t get off on vibrators, this thing provides options. I liked having it all on, but I might experiment, too. Probably will. Okay, definitely will.

And apparently on top of all this, this thing can help with improved sexual health. Because a link my friend forwarded to me when she was bitching about the damned networks shows that working out your inner muscles like this thing does makes you have better orgasms. And it makes you more easily aroused.

Not that I really needed THAT. But I do know a lot of women out there who I think would be a lot more pleasant if they worked out more – if you know what I mean. Anyway, you can read the study yourself it you want. It’s at http://www.springerlink.com/content/541173h6r1655858/.

Now for all you men who are scared that your woman will decide she doesn’t need your sorry ass anymore – let me just say that I didn’t try this alone, and I wasn’t the only one who reaped the benefits. Using this as round one made all my nerve-endings more sensitive. So everything my man did afterward received three times the accolades they normally would have received.

Any guy who doesn’t feel more of a stud by making his woman have a better time is a misogynist anyway, so go fwap yourself, I’m not writing to you in the first place.

Who I AM writing to, are all those out there who actually do believe that in the year 2011, women should have the right to seek their own pleasure – and that there’s nothing wrong with that.

And I’m writing to the networks to say, WTFWYT? I mean, really, Oprah? As a single woman, you honestly expect us to believe that this isn’t something you’d buy for yourself? Or do you just not want others to have it? Because honestly – I can’t figure out WTFYWT.

Maybe I’m missing something. You tell me.

But if you’ve watched the spot and don’t find anything wrong with it, you might want to write to the networks or stop watching them.

Or get one of these bad-boys for yourself for while you’re watching their network.

At least that way, you’ll know you’ll have a good time while you’re doing so.

I welcome your input below, as always.

UPDATE!
12/21/11
Intensity did get their spot on air. The only networks that would air it were WE (but only in the late night spots), LOGO (only after 10pm, which really seems ridiculous when you consider their primetime programming), and Discovery Fitness and Health (who was the ONLY network willing to run the ad at any time).

Additionally, Intensity read my post and wants to offer my readers a discount. If you go to intensitynow.com and buy one of their stimulators, you can get 10% off by using the code OMG10 (like “OMG – 10%” off) in the discount code box.

Have a happy holiday season, everyone!